Sunday, July 12, 2009

Things I Have Learned About Living in Oklahoma

1. All pickup trucks have trailer hitches. All of them. This can be painful to learn.

2. If your meat isn't smoked, you need to get out of the state, you un-American, Commie punk.

3. There are some places where you can go to Sunday morning worship wearing jeans, and it's okay. Even if you're preaching.

4. Sometimes the wind does not go "sweeping down the plain." Sometimes it hits you like a Mack truck.

5. Dry heat is not as sticky or clammy as wet heat, but 100 degrees is still hot.

6. Fiberglass boats and rocks do not mix.

7. Fireworks and dry grass do not mix.

8. There are some towns with populations that would fit in a row at Doak Campbell stadium.

9. It is possible to "kiss your butt goodbye" during a tornado warning.

10. There are some landfills that will take "drit." I haven't see what it is, but the sign said they take it.

11. There is someone in Webber's Fall, OK, who will babysit your kids, but you will need to supply "dippers." She'll change the "dippers," but you need to buy them.

12. Chicken "gizzards" or "chunks" is an acceptable meal.

13. You can be arrested in Arkansas for some acts connected with "debauchery."

14. There are several places to take concealed weapons license classes.

15. Daughters grow up really, really fast.

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